difficulties

im having difficulties which i guess is super normal.  I hate that ive been getting emotional over such normal things.  No, i dont think i hate it, im just confused by it.  i keep wanting to listen to tom waits but not feel how you feel after you listen to tom waits.  i dont like coffee.  I wish there was more to put in my head, but all the stuff in my head makes me feel detached from people.  whatever, today i was playing guitar and i wrote a pretty great 80's rock song, my fingers hurt afterward but i think thats just because i havent been practicing.  Community starts soon, i start a new job 5 days after the new season of Psych starts.  people think im weird, for all i know i could go back to the hospital again and watch tons of tv and wait for my phone and people think im weird.  i think that its not necessary to try to understand people, actually i dont even know if its even worth caring about, but that might be just another thing i need to think about.  i think im going to continue with my book, even though i want Lem to die and I think cults could be the best place for him.  in the new year i will do at least 3 paintings. if you would like one tell me what to paint and send me an address.  i am pretty ok, so you dont need to worry about them looking dumb.  anyway, i will be updating more. oh, america was great, it felt great and i felt super guilty, which is something everyone should feel when they go home. tootles babe, tootles.